Exhilirating new experience!

Nope, it doesn't have anything to do with writing, but at almost fifty, this is the first time I've had a dog to get sprayed by a fully-functional skunk. (I had a pet skunk once upon a time that was ALMOST descented, but that's another story.)

I was visiting my parents house, and took Buddy the World Champion Napdog along with me. Of course, he had to wander all around their property (about 22 acres) while I visited. Not long before I intended to leave, I noticed a faint skunky odor coming through the storm door screen. At first I was the only one to notice it, but then my mom smelled it, too.



I looked and there was Buddy, looking a bit shamefaced and stinking to high heaven. And I had to drive 10 miles with him in the Jeep with me!

I had no tomato juice at home, and in a very rural location, where do you find a quart or two of tomato juice at 10:30 PM?? I did find a can of V8 in the pantry, but pouring that on his head made him smell almost worse. After several washings, he's bearable, but I may try lemon juice or vinegar. (I'm guessing it's the acidity of the tomato juice that works the magic, but I don't know.)

For the Children...

I have finished selecting all the stories for the Christmas charitable benefit anthology Wolfmont Publishing is putting together this year, and it's a great lineup of stories! The title is BY THE CHIMNEY WITH CARE and it contains the work of nineteen authors: one poem and seventeen stories. The book will be, when all is said and done, about 208 pages of 5x8 trade softcover delight! All the stories within it are crime stories with a Christmas theme. (Before anyone gets on my case, I also put out the word that I would accept Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and even Saturnalia stories, but no one sent one my way before the book was full.)

Oh... what? Who's in it? Let's see... Jeffrey Marks, Neil Plakcy, Rob Rosen, John M. Floyd, Tony Burton, Margaret Fenton, Suzanne Flaig, Mike Wiecek, Carol B. Cole... quite a few very good writers, with some stories that run the range from chuckle-funny to wipe-a-tear-poignant to ghostly-spooky.

The book will be available for order directly from Wolfmont Publishing (http://www.wolfmont.com). It will also be distributed through Ingram's and Baker & Taylor, and even possibly Amazon if they will reduce their cut because it's a charitable effort. When you start talking about the net proceeds going to Toys for Tots, and the distributors want such a large discount that there ARE NO net proceeds, it's sort of self-defeating to offer the book that way.

Anyway, when I have a cover shot available, I'll put one here. And when the book is available for ordering, I'll put that information here, too.

Shooting yourself in the... foot? Mouth??

Recently I received a "publicity" piece from an author, and it generated as much sympathy as it did less generous emotions. I won't identify the author, out of pity and the hopes the author will learn to do a better job.

In this piece, the author proclaims "I am a self-published author, so I have to do all my own promotion."

First of all, never, ever walk into a group of publishing or book industry professionals and proudly announce "I'm self-published!" It says a few things, mostly not complimentary.

First of all, it says you probably don't know what you are talking about. True "self-publishing" means you went to R.R. Bowker and purchased the minimum ten-ISBN block, established a relationship with a printer, and paid the printer to produce your book, carrying your own ISBN. Very few people do this because of the effort, time and cost involved.

What you probably did was to go to a subsidy publisher of some kind and pay them (or to Lulu, who gets their money in more subtle ways) to publish your book with their ISBN on the back. That is not self-publishing. It's subsidy publishing, often less kindly referred to as vanity publishing. "But my publisher said I'm self-published!" you may say. Think about that statement!

Here's your best test: IF you own the ISBN and are free to take it to another printer and use it on your book there, to produce the same book with the same cover, etc., but with a different printing company, then you are self-published. If you can't take the ISBN with you when you leave the printing company, then you aren't. Simple.

OK. I said "First of all," which implies there is a "Secondly," and there is.

Secondly, as unfair as it may be, being self-published is not a badge of honor in publishing and writing circles. Generally people assume, rightly or wrongly, if you had to self-publish your book or subsidy publish it, nobody else thought it was good enough to publish commercially. This does NOT include your Mom, your Aunt Mabel who always doted on you, or anyone like that. We're talking objective readers.

I'm not saying they're right. A number of famous authors self-published, or subsidy published, or whatever you want to call it. And some of those books actually attracted positive attention once they hit the streets! But the sad truth is, most subsidy published books are pathetic things. Their cover design is often terrible. Their editing is very poor or non-existent. Their authors are often laboring under the mistaken idea that, if they write the book, people will come to them to buy it.

A few months ago, before I was exposed to so many subsidy-published books, I became indignant when someone made snide remarks about them or their authors. "Such prejudice!" I thought.

I'm going to call subsidy-published-books SPBs from now on, because I'm lazy

Now that I've tried to read and review quite a few, I understand. Seldom does an SPB come across my desk that is worthy of the time to read and review it. That's so sad! Why don't the authors believe in the idea of getting an outside editor? Heck, I'm an editor with years of experience, but when I read my OWN work, it's darn hard to see the little errors that creep in. It's because I see what I expect to see instead of what is there. It is always easier to edit someone else's work.

And the covers! I've had a couple come in for me to read, where I swear the authors commissioned a local twelve-year-old to create the cover art using crayons. That's OK for a kid's book, but it looks tacky on an action-adventure-suspense book for adults.

Yes, there is a "Thirdly."

Thirdly, it doesn't matter if you are published by yourself, by PublishAmerica, by Wolfmont Publishing or by Tor Publishing (a big name in the SciFi arena), chances are you are going to do a lot of promotion. With the number of books hitting the market now, and with limited budgets because of constraints mandated by shareholders and/or bean counters, it's the rare author who doesn't have to do the majority of promotion for his or her book. There are some big names who get money shoveled in their direction to go on book tours and so forth, but the majority of authors invest both money and "sweat equity" into the promotion of their books, hoping for a return in sales and readership.

Lastly, everybody knows you think your book is great. Hey, if you didn't, why did you publish it? Get some objective outside opinions and use quotes from those to promote your book. If you can't get any positive ones, maybe that should tell you something....

It's great if you can get authors in the same genre, but if you don't know any (bad sign there!) get other professional opinions. If it's a medical mystery, get a doctor or two to read your book and give you a quotable opinion. If it's a police procedural, get quotes from a detective or cop. Get the idea?

If you are trying to promote your book, don't do the kind of things that will turn people away from your book before they even open it up! You may actually have a decent story in there, but if people won't read the book it won't matter.

What can YOU tolerate in a book?

Some people and I have been having a debate lately about what sort of things, if any, will cause people to immediately put down a book and say something like, "Oh, I just can't read that!" Now, obviously really poor writing will cause this... but wait, what about Dan Brown? Oh, never mind that example. Let's just say what sort of scene or occurence in the story will cause the reader to stop reading.
I had a survey up for a couple of days, and I was pretty amazed that it took such a short time to gather over 100 respondents. But based on feedback from the respondents, I revamped the survey and re-ran it. I didn't get as many respondents this time, but I thought the results were still interesting.

It seems that a great number of people really could not care less if a member of the clergy is killed in a story, as long as it's "off camera". But the killing of a pet cat or pet dog raised hackles all down the line!

And a great number of people objected to the killing of a small child, or the molestation of a small child. The majority of people said they would not buy and/or finish reading such a book, even if it is one they had previously decided to buy and/or read. (The scenario was that they were standing in a bookstore or library and had already decided to get this book because they had previously read one book by the author and enjoyed it. They then flipped through the book and saw the scene described in the survey question.)


Now, because my publishing company publishes short stories and novels that are about crime, I guess it's sort of incongruous that I should even worry about these things. But I really do. I believe there are ways you can write a story about a crime, be it a murder, robbery, kidnapping or even a rape, that can make the book interesting and compelling without wallowing in the gutter. And I also believe that there are some crimes that are, at least by conventional American moral standards, so heinous and horrific that the majority of people don't want to read about them.

Sure, we KNOW that pedophiles are out there, and we KNOW that people kill their own children or other people's children, and we KNOW that people torture animals in horrible ways... but do we want to read about these things? I can't answer that question for you, I can only answer it for myself.

My answer is "no".

Starting over... again

I almost decided that I'd just wipe out all the previous entries because, quite frankly, it has been so loooooong since the last one that it just looked pathetic. But I kept them, and here I am, trying to make a fresh start.

Had a meeting of our local writers' group tonight, and it was a good one. Small town, so an attendance of seven is a pretty good thing! We have some experienced writers and some pretty green newbies in the bunch, but we all contribute and I think it's an enjoyable time for all.

Do you belong to a writers' group? Or a critique group? If so, is it online or "real-world"? (Boy, THAT line is blurring, isn't it?) What are the strengths of your group? How about its weaknesses?

I'll tell you what I think our biggest weaknesses are: politeness and lack of self-confidence of some members. You see, we're in the South and most of us were reared to be "nice" to people. It's hard to give an honest critique sometimes, and remain nice. Sometimes you just have to say, "Wow, you really have an ugly baby there!"

The lack of self-confidence is a killer, too. We have some members who really have some wonderful stories inside them, because they can tell them and/or write them to bring to meetings. The problem is, they shy away from submitting them to any markets.

And here's a new market for you, if you write crime or mystery stories. It's a minimally paying market, quarterly ezine, and it's called Mouth Full of Bullets.

One of my very, very FAVORITE print markets for mystery and suspense stories is Great Mystery and Suspense. (I have a short story featured in their inaugural issue, by the way!) They, too, are a quarterly publication, although they publish both hardcopy and in electronic format.

Woo-HOO! Trumpets and Flourishes!!

I have a brand-spankin' new Granddaughter! My first!

Her name is Rebecca Karen Greeson, and she was born a little before midnight, Eastern time, last night (March 11). Her parents, Mark and Shanna, are very happy. Shanna (my daughter) is doing well, as is Rebecca. Mark... well, he's a new Daddy! What do you think??

Here ya go... and you, too! Virtual cigars all around! If you don't smoke, don't worry... Virtual Cigars don't stink, are not habit-forming, and absolutely non-carcinogenic!!

Tony

OK, I know... it's been a LOOONNNGGG time

Yep, it's been a long time. I've been busy as a one-legged man in an... ummmm... well, in a soccer game. How's that?

The most important news first: My older daughter is having a baby sometime this month! Rebecca Karen Greeson will be the name of the little one, and this grampa-to-be is excited!

Other news: I have a story that is appearing on Reflection's Edge for the March issue. Please feel encouraged to go to http://www.reflectionsedge.com and read "Bluetick" for a shiver or two.

More news: I have a story that was accepted for the Minnesota Memories 6 anthology, to be published later this year. It is about ice-fishing on Lake Superior, and WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT??

Finally: The anthology I have been compiling and editing, Seven By Seven, is almost ready! It is all set for an early-April release, and all the authors and I are very excited. We have sold several pre-release copies, and anticipate many more to be sold as well. The authors include BJ Bourg, Kimberly Brown, Deborah Elliott-Upton, John M. Floyd, Sunny Frazier, Gary Hoffman and Frank Zafiro. Plus, G. Miki Hayden has written a very nice foreword!

You can also see a thumbnail of the cover of the Seven By Seven anthology on http://www.wolfmont.com/wolfmont_books_sa.htm, and can save some money by purchasing your advance copy there... but only until March 15! After then, the book will go to the regular price, both for purchase and shipping. But until then you can save $1.70 by ordering at the pre-release price.

Literary Vampires

I was just corresponding with an online acquaintance of mine, and saw with horror that she had been taken in by Poetry.com.

I don't know if any of you are writers, or specifically poets, but there are a number of people out there who are literary vampires, sucking the money and literary lifeblood out of people. The general scam goes like this:

(1) "Enter our writing contest for free!"

(2) You get a letter from them, that reads something like this:"Dear Patsy, I love your poem titled Poor Slob. Thank you for entering it into our free contest. It has already been moved into the semi-finals! Our joy is to discover new talent like yours..." and it goes on in a similar vein.

(3) Your poem is to be published in a GENUINE HARDBACK BOOK! But to get things like a dedication, a photograph, illustrations, biography, etc., you have to pay numerous fees. Oh, and if you WANT a copy of this astounding volume, you have to pay for it (at a premium price!)

(4) You order the book. The "publisher" now knows he has a live one on the other end, and you get a letter a few weeks later that says you are a WINNER. You are invited to come to a remote location, read your poem to hundreds, nay, THOUSANDS of admiring fans and receive a trophy or plaque of some kind. (Of course, all this costs money... the fees are as follows...)

And so it goes.

If you would like to know more about such scams, here are a FEW links:

http://windpub.com/literary.scams/index.htm
http://poetrynotcom.tripod.com/
http://www.author-me.com/poetryscams.htm
http://windpub.com/literary.scams/yudkin.htm
http://www.winningwriters.com/contests/wergle/we_guidelines.php


If you have fallen prey to such an organization (as I did many moons ago, sadly), keep your hand on your wallet!

Tony Burton

Editor, Crime and Suspense ezine

http://www.crimeandsuspense.com

http://mntnview.blogspot.com

Voice Mail and Fax: (702) 543-8386

tburton@crimeandsuspense.com

See my new cozy mystery, "Blinded by Darkness". Get it in either ebook version or hardcopy at http://www.wolfmont.com

Editorial Cruelty

Hmmmmm. Where does one begin? I'm the editor of an ezine, and I really enjoy that. It doesn't make me any money, but it does allow me to get to know and become friends with a lot of people I probably wouldn't otherwise know. I get to read a lot of stuff by new (and established) writers, and it's a great learning process for all concerned, I think.

But at heart I'm a gentle soul, and there are times when the editorial sword is in my hand and I have to think - "This is going to hurt!" I have a review that I have written coming up in next month's issue, where the book probably should not have been put on the street. At least, not yet. It needed heavy copyediting, proofreading, call it what you will. If this was a new publication, or I had an advance review copy in my hand I would think, "Ah, well - the bugs will get straightened out before it goes into full production." But this book has been in print for over two years!

I had a rather protracted debate about the merits of self-publishing versus the "traditional" route with some folks, and it was touched off by my offer to review self-published or small-press books on my ezine/website. I was severely taken to task by a couple of folks for "encouraging" these "talentless hacks who couldn't make it in regular publishing". I was also accused of planning to present only glowing reviews in order to make the self-published books look good. That last part really got my dander up, to use a very old phrase.

So, I made a commitment to give honest reviews. What WAS I thinking???

The first book I received for review turned out to be an editorial nightmare written by someone who attempted to imitate the hard-boiled authors of the thirties, forties and later - but only succeeded in sounding like a cheap knockoff. Unfortunately I had made my editorial bed, and now I had to try to sleep in it.

Thankfully, there are many other self-published and small-press books out there which ARE good reads, which ARE well-written and deserving of glowing reviews. Perhaps it's best, though, that my first one will not glow very much. At least, no one can accuse me of trying to falsely pump up the book.

Tony Burton
Editor, Crime and Suspense ezine
http://www.crimeandsuspense.com/

Rainy Vacations and Other Minutiae

My wife and I were down at Hilton Head, SC, visiting with my wife's parents who were down from Wisconsin for a week's vacation. Unfortunately, since it is the wintertime even in sunny South Carolina, the rain was a more or less constant companion. We did have a nice time-share condo with a canal running behind it, and resident alligators. (There is a sign warning us neither to feed nor agitate these large lizards...)

We drove back into the north Georgia mountains yesterday - and it was SO nice to sleep in our own bed once more. Our dog Buddy was staying with my younger daughter, and had been pining/whining for us, so I have been led to believe, so it was good to relieve his canine anxiety as well.

I don't believe I have yet mentioned that I am the editor of an ezine, Crime and Suspense. The link will take you to the home page for the ezine, where you can sign up for the monthly issues that are sent out (FREE) via email. We have some great writers who contribute to the ezine, both new and established authors, experienced and green-as-grass. We also have reviews of published novels and anthologies, writers' helps and a lot of other cool stuff. The December issue has stories by yours truly, Diane Dahlstrom, Gay Kinman, Deanne Boast, Sunny Frazier and Rashid Raza. I'd love to have you come by and visit, and even subscribe. (As I said, it's free.)

I read today where they had arrested some ecoterrorists who had (among many other things)destroyed a plywood and veneer plant back in 2001. The story said there were about 1,200 ecoterror attacks attributed to these two groups: the Earth Liberation Front (ELF) and the Animal Liberation Front (ALF).

OK, I have to admit it: I drive an SUV. But where and how I live, it's basically a necessity. Other than that, I like to think I am relatively eco-conscious. I recycle cans, bottle, paper and plastic. I limit my trips to town. I buy recycled where possible. So, I feel like a pretty good citizen of the Earth.

But eco-terrorism really gets my back up. As good as the intentions may be, terrorism is not the answer. Education, yes... public protests, yes... even annoying and bothersome things like dumping sludge onto a conference table can be of value. But burning down a plywood and veneer plant, or destroying a power transmission tower - come on, these are acts of TRUE terror, that could destroy lives, and accomplish little else except to mark as extremists all those who would work for peaceful resolution of these issues.

The hypocrisy of such people really gets to me. It's not like there is a large group of people in the United States, or even in the world, who live totally without leaving a footprint on the ecology. Whether you are a suburbanite who commutes to work, or an aborigine who hunts for food, you change the ecology around you. Here's a kicker, too: these two groups, the ELF and the ALF, have websites where they communicate about their causes. Well, gee, folks! The electricity for running all the various parts of the Internet comes from a variety of sources, many of them NON-eco-friendly. Many of the parts for computers are plastic - and NOT recycled plastic - made from petroleum products. And so on. Anyone who is using computers and the Internet to communicate is also having a negative impact on the environment. It's all a matter of degrees, and how much one is willing to compromise.